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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
ausross' LiveJournal:
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| Sunday, October 26th, 2008 | | 7:48 pm |
| | Tuesday, October 7th, 2008 | | 12:47 am |
How good was Conflux 5? I had a ball (despite crashing and burning, missing the last day). | | Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 | | 8:06 am |
Well gawwllee (as dear old Gomer used to say). Whoever thought that I would get so into this poetry lark? For heaven's sake - I an aging, alcoholic jock, with decades of dedication to left-brain anal retentiveness, a banker who became an accountant who became a statistician. People like that aren't supposed to like poetry, much less write the stuff. I dare say that in time I will look back on these early fumblings and bloody shudder, much as I do about my early published writing. But the longest journey starts with a single step, as the old proverb says. http://brokennib.blogspot.com/ Current Mood:  surprised | | Sunday, September 14th, 2008 | | 5:57 pm |
| | Thursday, September 11th, 2008 | | 2:41 am |
| | Friday, August 29th, 2008 | | 3:56 pm |
Whoops! I arrive at campus and diligently head over to hand in an assignment. Just as it was about to disappear through the slot into the tutor's box, I realised that I had managed to misspell her name - yet again. So race off and print off another cover sheet. Then just as I was replacing said cover sheet, I realised that the draft versions of the final story which were supposed to accompany the assignment, were still sitting home on my desk. Well I couldn't very well go racing home while LT was still there clearing his stuff out, so time to improvise. Fortunately my flash drive held a copy of one of those early drafts. Print it out and start doing some edits reflecting what I vaguely recall were previously scrawled on that version. Somehow, about half-way through this quick doctoring, I managed to swap the draft and the final version. Now the final version has about half the scribble in green pen that was suåppose to be on the other version. And no electronic copy of it with me. Frantic retyping. New typos appearing that weren't there before. And I hate the keyboard on this computer that I'm using - I'm used to the beautifully responsive keyboard on my laptop, not this thing where I have to pound keys reminiscent of my compulsory year of typing in high school on ancient typewriters (long story). After some frantic winging it, and not one, not two, but three false starts, I finally get said assignment in. There went my afternoon of working on my novella project! | | 12:53 pm |
As I type this entry, Mr Loony Tunes is in what was his room. He has obviously been released from psych care and is clearing his room out. He has been evicted and been declared site-banned. While I do have huge sympathy for another victim of mental health issues, this chap simply does not belong in a community housing environment. We other members of the household had no idea that he was even going to be here today. The victim of last week's assault made a hasty exit in order to avoid any difficulties. Apart from anything else, Mr LT has an interim restraining order against him that he is not permitted within within 50 metres of his victim. Obviously that posed problems for him getting access to his belongings hence the discrete retreat. I am just keeping a very low profile in my room until he's gone. While waiting for Mr LT to disappear again so I could exit and head off over to the campus for the afternoon, I checked my email. A nice suprise awaited me there. The Internet Review of Science Fiction has just accepted an article of mine, Space Opera Rules: But By Whom? I had given up on getting an answer on that one and was on the verge of posting it to my writing blog. Just as well that I hadn't gotten around to posting it! | | Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 | | 12:51 am |
After all the dramas, we have reached a resolution of sorts. An interim order has been granted for the victim of last Tuesday's assault. The assailant is still psych care and is not permitted within 50 meters of his victim. There was also a hearing before the Residential Tenancies Tribunal brought by the assailant as part of his continuing quest to prove that rules apply to everyone except him. Those actual proceedings had to be held over in view of his absence in hospital but the Tribunal has nonetheless supported management's position to commence eviction proceedings. I am told that paperwork is now complete, along with the necessary papers to have him declared site-banned. Once that is in effect, he may not step foot on the property. Should he do so the police may immediately remove him as a trespasser. At last we have some protection. However the early indications are that Mental Health will try and get him reinstated here. It ain't happening. Possibly because of his mental health situation, this invidivual is simply not suitable for a community housing situation. His habit of refusing medication doesn't help matters at all. I haven't lodged an order against this chap as yet, however I may not need to. The interim order lasts for a month and will almost certainly be renewed at the end of that period. I still intend walking away from Canberra in November. The mid-semester break is the week after next. I will be spending part of that time making arrangements to get rid of furniture etc that is currently in storage. It means that I will be returning back down to Victoria with SFA and I will have to start all over again. But I will not be able to afford to move it all down south and I won't have anywhere to put it anyway. I have already discussed things with Mum and Dad and they're only too happy to have me move back down there and move in there for a while. 45 years of age and having to move back in with my parents. How degrading is that? In some ways I will be looking forward to this end of a what has become and incredibly nasty series of chapters in my life. | | Monday, August 25th, 2008 | | 3:06 am |
Oh dear Lord - as if I wasn't already depressed enough. Just read latest posts to a blog by someone I already know is a far better writer than me. But to see lyrical word combinations flowing out like that, compared to my own frequently purile yearghidchz (yes I made that word up cos I couldn't think of anything sufficiently horrible), and I want to threw my pens away, burn all the reams of paper and files and all the rest of it. Where's that hole I used to curl up in to hide? Oh no, Rossicus Hamiltonus can't remember the way back to his den lined with posters of Jessica Simpson and Germane Greer. Rossicus thinks Greer is a babe and admires Simpson's intellect. Yeah, they were right to label him a loony, weren't they. | | 2:25 am |
the lunacy continues
After the fun and games last Tuesday evening where the resident lunatic who refuses medication attacked another member of the household with a lump of 4x2, on Thursday we learned that he wasn't arrested and that his whereabout as best as we could ascertain were unknown. Then his mental health case manager let slip the word that could someone please take out an AVO against him as that gives them quick grounds to have him committed as they didn't want him walking the streets. Straight down to the Magistrates Court. It turns out that such orders have to be applied for before noon. Only those that are deemed to be life-threatening situations will be approved. Well, we have a lunatic who has already attacked an elderly man with a lump of wood, and I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that if I had been seconds later arriving on the scene, the victim would now be dead and we'd still be scrubbing the bloodstains and remnants of his brains off the front doorstep. Plus we couldn't find out where he was so as far as we knew he was still walking the streets. Plus he still had keys to the building and management had only agreed to change the lock on his door, not the doors to the actual building. Plus he had threatened us on Tuesday night. That would seem life threatening wouldn't it? No. According to the Registrar who reviewed the application, that is not a life threatening situation. Plus because all of one-and-a-half days had transpired, I was deemed to have delayed making the application therefore it wasn't considered serious. 'Try again tomorrow,' I'm told. 'Morning applications don't have to be life threatening.' 'But I can't come back tomorrow morning because I have to be in hospital for an important drug infusion and won't get out until mid-afternoon at the earliest.' The response? A shrug of the shoulders. So the victim goes down instead on Friday morning and lodges his own application. Surely that will be successful? No. Apparently now it is unfair to be requesting something like a restraining order against someone who is mentally ill. Never mind that the madman has already tried to commit grevious bodily harm once. No - we're all being unfair on him. So the matter was held over until Monday. So now we have to go back there, yet again. I contacted Mental Health to let them know and they were flabbergasted. In the meantime, we finally established that the assailant has been placed in psychiatric care. However he may be released at any time as ACT Mental Health are not exactly moving very quickly to do anything like get their own orders to have him committed. But our little saga here gets better. The victim of this assault has been building a greenhouse at the front of the building for residents to use to start seedlings in ready for spring planting in vegetable gardens. The greenhouse has Dept of Housing approval and is being funded by a small grant. A long standing resident who is one these fools who thinks that decriminalisation of marijuana means that everyone is allowed to grow it for their own use, informed my housemate that she wished her marijuana plant housed in the greenhouse in future. He told her in no uncertain terms that this sure as shit wasn't happening. Twelve months ago, this prize piece of work, distributed an 11 page diatribe all over the place, including to the Dept of Housing, claiming that my housemate, then the Secretary of the Ainslie Village Community Council, was both stealing and misappropriating Council funds and property. As the newly appointed Treasurer, I was accused of attempting to cover it up. Any why did she resort to this? Because my housemate and I dared to stand up to some of her shenanigans on Council. Amazingly she isn't even on Council but is still allowed to basically run the show. No, I can't understand it either. These ludicrous charges were accompanied by the most creative bookkeeping to 'prove' the case since Laurie 'Last Chance' Connell's Rothman's Bank went bust in the 1980s. Rothman's had such a creative accounting system that it created funds and assets out of thin air, beating the hell out anything any alchemist ever tried to achieve. These accusations against my housemate and I were about as ridiculous. Now just after my housemate refused to house her bloody weed, the Dept of Housing is suddenly informed that my housemate is intending to grow marijuana in this greenhouse, for sale to Ainslie Village residents. And guess who we are now led to believe to have made this incredible accusation. Is it any bloody wonder that I hate this place? | | Thursday, August 21st, 2008 | | 1:40 am |
Somethings never do change. The Australian Bureau of Statistics has provided a response to the Office of the Privacy Commissioner in respect of the formal investigation being undertaken by the Commissioner's staff in respect of the way the ABS (mis)handled my personal information, handing over my files to an external consultant. Allow me to make an important qualification. The ABS is nothing short of paranoid about assuring the privacy of survey and census respondents is respected. It doesn't have any choice as the Census and Statistics Act expressly banned any such disclosure ever occurring. It is just staff that ABS doesn't give a rat's arse about apart from making lots of the usual noise about how important staff are blah blah blah. Honestly, these people are obviously convinced that I am a congenital idiot. There number of blatant errors in that response is simply staggering. Various statements are made that are simply false. These invariably are to my detriment. The cynics would suggest that this was a a deliberate attempt to discredit me. My corrective response is already underway, including the contradictory evidence. Also more fuel for my submission going to the Commonwealth Ombudsman, which is rapidly approaching the size of War and Peace. Is is any wonder that my solicitor tells me that ABS staff injuries keep his practice going, or that mental health professionals usually respond to any mention of the ABS with something along the lines of a disgusted 'oh them!'. Those professionals are just the poor sods who get lumbered with the job of cleaning up the mess. I thought I was bad until my second sojourn in the psych ward where another ABS staff member arrived - they had been turned into a complete, utter fruitloop! | | Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 | | 7:29 pm |
I knew it would happen...
Only a short time ago, the lunatic housemate belted another housemate with a lump of wood with a 4 inch bolt protruding from the end. The victim was a 63 yo epiletic with a bad heart. The police have carted looney tunes off to organise alternative accomodation. He deliberately took himself off of his medication and nobody could do anything about it despite his increasing instability and growing violent trends. Lord knows what may have happened if I hadn't intervened when I did. I may have ended up with a dead housemate rather than just a bruised and upset one. That's the last straw. Once I have finished my studies I am getting the hell out of dodge and moving back down to Victoria. Far too upset to get any work done tonight and I'm running behind on some stuff. I actually have to work this semester. | | Monday, August 18th, 2008 | | 8:39 pm |
It can always be worse
I had a long phone conversation with mum a little earlier this evening. Initially it was to let me know that dad was home after open heart surgery last week, and is doing well. She then dropped the bombshell on me that my younger brother, a heavy marijuana user for more than 20 years, has just put himself through detox. Frankly I was amazed that mum was taking it so calmly. Apparently they had known about his habit for 3 or 4 years (whereas I'd know for more than 20). Poor mum and dad now have two addicts in the family - one alcoholic (me) and one grass addict. And don't let anyone tell you that the shit isn't addictive. I've seen too many people turned into absolute head cases by it. My brother used to be a conscientious, hard worker, but hasn't kept a job any length of time for years. He simply couldn't cope with anything. He shares a house with his best friend of the last 30 years, but had become so erratic that a couple of times in the recent past that they came to blows. His mate has been a karate black belt for 20 years, so no prizes for guessing who came off worst. I'm so damn glad that he has taken this step. But like every addict, it had to wait until the right time. Anything other than that and it simply won't work. I was lucky. The great love of my life, Hilary, laid down the law. She left home at 16 to get away from an alcoholic father and wasn't going to go through that again for anyone, even me. I was given a choice - sober up or lose her. That was the right push at the right time for me. And I had the support of an amazing woman every step of the way. I didn't let my folks know the story until I was on top of things. My brother has his two best friends backing him up, and the rest of the family down south will be there for him. It pulls my whinges about uni and housemate back into perspective. | | 2:51 am |
I forgot to mention the other reason I am so generally pissed off at the world. The insane-fuckwit-housemate-who-refuses-to-t ake-his-medication-and-we-cannot-get-rid-o f-him managed to blow the power the other night, yet again. This caused the household computer network that another housemate put together to be blown off the air, yet again. I lost broadband access, yet again and I don't have it back yet. The fuckwit has literally barricaded himself inside his room, yet again, so nobody can do so much as an OHAS inspection of whatever piece of electronic crap he is using to screw the power up, yet again. He briefly emerged from hiding and left the house, only to leave the door wide open to the world, yet again. And failed to close it again on his return, yet again. So we get to complain to management about him, yet again. Nothing will be done, as usual. Attempts to have him evicted were derailed by him taking management to the Residential Tenancies Tribunal, yet again. The hearing is scheduled for this Friday but I have no doubt that he will fail to bother to turn up, yet again. So everything reverts to a stalemate, yet again. If I wasn't going to be spending the day getting pumped full of my wonder drugs at the hospital, I would attend the hearing to make sure the Member is informed of just exactly the sort of games this asswipe is playing to the detriment of everyone else. How many other people have to contend with finding strangers in their kitchen at 6am, using the microwave, because they found the backdoor wide open? Mr Fuckwit actually wedged the thing open the other week! | | 2:19 am |
Firstly, big congratulations to Ian McHugh, for winning the writing award in the latest Writers and Illustrators of the Future contest. And to the other Aussies who were shortlisted. While pleased for Ian, this win did prompt me to think some more about my future. Come October 31st, I should have handed in the last of my university assignments and barring something disastrous happening, will be finished with my Graduate Diploma of Professional Writing. So what next? My health has improved to the point that I am no longer quite the gibbering wreck that I was although I am still a long way from being fit enough to re-enter the workplace, not that too many workplaces will be terribly keen to hire someone who was forced out of the public service on mental health grounds (never mind that this situation only occurred because of a years-long pattern of lies, neglect and negligence with parties so far having escaped being called to account). On that score, the formal investigation of the Australian Bureau of Statistics by the Office of the Privacy Commissioner is proceeding, albeit slowly. It only took them seven months to post the letter to the ABS informing them (a) of the investigation and (b) detailing a great heap of questions that they need to answer. Further action is being taken with other authorities to force some independent investigation of other aspects of my case that was so appalling handled. One individual in particular will be incredibly fortunate to avoid legal sanctions for making false statements - some of the the lies she has made in formal statements are staggering. The reality however is that some things are going to remain unchanged. The precedent has now been well and truly established that all a Commonwealth employer needs to do to ensure that workers compensation claims for psychiatric injury are not upheld is simply to ensure that the employee has been encouraged to apply for something like leave, when the organisation has no intention of approving it. That is quite literally all it takes to be disqualified from compensation these days. And why would a Commonwealth employer do so? Simple. The fewer successful claims by its staff, the less they have to pay in the annual Comcare premiums. Just one more legacy of the Howard years. But back to considerations of the future. A couple of possibilities present themselves. First, I could stay here in Canberra and pursue my writing here. The positives of this are that Canberra provides a number of benefits to anyone with as wide a range of potential writing interests as I do: National Library, National Archives, War Memorial, ACT Writers Centre, good contacts at the University of Canberra and writing friends primarily through the Canberra Speculative Fiction Guild. The downside - as basically an invalid pensioner, I cannot afford to live anywhere here but the dungheap community housing facility I was condemned to some time back. My whole life has to be contained within a single bedroom. My writing space is virtually nil. The other option is to pack up and move back down to Victoria. My base there would be my old home town of Bendigo. Well it was good enough for Sara Douglas when she was on the staff of the local campus of La Trobe Uni, although several years back Sara shot through down to Tasmania. On the positive side, the cost of living is slightly less. I would initially have to move back in with Mum and Dad while I try to find a small, affordable place to rent. Having a place of my own has frankly become a simply impractical dream unless I am eventually able to rehabilitate myself back into the workplace. Even then, having lost everything a while back, starting all over again at 45 makes home buying an unlikely prospect at best. That or I become incredibly successful as a writer. Come to think of it, I do things like write in coffee shops, as JK Rowling did, so surely my success is now assured? :) Being back in the old stomping ground also gives me a support network with the family (of sorts). The downsides of that move. The facilities there are nowhere as promising as here in Canberra. I know hardly anyone back down there any more. What remained of my old friends have since moved on. The prospect frankly leaves me a bit uncomfortable. The one thing that I do know is that from October 31st onwards, it is all up to me. I have no excuses not to write. What to do? What to do? The quandry isn't being helped by uni proving to be more than a tad difficult at present. My scriptwriting partner for a semester-long assignment has just bailed out. Students are flatly forbidden from working on this as a solo effort. Five weeks into the thing and I have been left stranded. My poetry lecturer refuses to make his lecture notes available, insisting that as lectures are recorded there is no need to make his notes available as everyone else in the faculty does. The fact that I am partly deaf and struggle to follow him at times and find the recordings next to useless, hasn't cut much ice.I also have to memorise a poem as part of the assessment, although this little gem of information was not made available to me prior to signing up. The combination of my mental condition and medication have caused my previously bloody good memory to become bloody hopeless. I worked my bum off trying to memorise a simple 12 lines but have failed dismally to be able to memorise any more than the first eight or so. I requested permission to use a discrete prompt card with just a few key words on it as a recitation aid. That was refused. The most he would do was agree to postpone my presentation for a while. But time is not going to change something that simply isn't going to happen at all. | | Friday, July 4th, 2008 | | 5:21 pm |
Uni results just in. Three Distinctions and a Credit. The Credit wasn't a bad result as I had an abortion of a first major assignment in that subject. Cost myself an HD in one subject - my final story I submitted turned out to be an unintentional recreation of Firefly. I didn't realise how badly until I got it back and reread the thing. Damn. I've been so pumped up with my writing ever since the writers festival. Had a ball. | | Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 | | 6:27 pm |
Short and Twisted
No, I am not describing either my lack of physical stature nor my sometimes warped sense of humour. The Short and Twisted anthology has been released, featuring a piece by yours truly, and also one by the talented performance poet Maria Josey. Maria and I were in the same evening creative writing class a couple of years back but fell out of touch until she saw my piece in her contributors copy of S&T and sent me an email. Kewl biccies! Grab your copy NOW from www.celapenepress.com.au | | Sunday, May 25th, 2008 | | 2:36 am |
If I could talk to the animals...
Earlier this evening I stepped outside for a quick breath of fresh air before settling down in front of the TV to watch the 20-20 cricket from India. Kangaroos are daily visitors here, coming down from the Mt Ainslie Nature Reserve and I feed them now and again. Tonight there was a doe feeding on the grass just outside our place, with a youngster not far away. I slipped inside and grabbed a few slices of bread - a treat they always enjoy. I have noticed that when the boomer isn't around (and what a bad tempered sod he is!), the does in particular are much more relaxed and will come a little closer when being fed. Tonight for only the second time, I had one of them feeding straight from my hand. Such a thrill to have a wild creature feeding like that. When I held my hand out, she nuzzled it, most likely still able to smell the bread on my fingers. A second youngster came over and all three of them fed quite contentedly for a bit, although only the doe came so close. Then something made them rather edgy. From the way that they were acting, I assume it was one of the local cats as the cats always make them uneasy. Eventually they headed off. That encounter made my evening. | | Saturday, May 24th, 2008 | | 11:20 am |
I got a friend!
Anyone remember Australia's Big Brother 1? Yeah I know - ancient history now. Plus I have just sooo lost interest in the whole thing. But one of the contestants from that first series (which is probably best remembered for Sarah Marie unleashing her bum dance on the world) was former ballerina, Chrissie. Guess who just became a friend on my myspace page. I have a bona fide minor celeb as a friend now. Watch my head swell now. Will have to turn sideways in the future to get out the bedroom door of a morning. Apparently Chrissie is a standup comic these days. Dunno how good she is. Received some excellent feedback on one of my stories at uni from a lecturer whose opinion I value. The High Distinction was nice as well. Roll on June so I can get stuck into the kiwiwriters June writing challenge (NaNoWriMo, Antipodes style). Foot tapping, listening to some classic Elmore James while clearing email, boasting etc. | | Friday, May 16th, 2008 | | 12:06 pm |
I forgot to mention that there is one bright spot. The launch of the next Hal Spacejock isn't far off. So looking forward to another dose of that lovely lunacy. This weekend sees the launch of the Short and Twisted anthology in Melbourne. I had hoped to be down there for it seeing as I'm actually in there. Well OK, I'm not actually in there - I may be on the short side, but residing within the covers a small book is beyond even me, but you get what I mean. My first published piece in best part of two years. The fact that I more or less stopped writing didn't help with that ratio. Unfortunately I have too much work to get done for uni to be able to afford the time off for the weekend away as I had originally planned. I was sooo looking forward to the that thrill of being asked to sign a book again. :) |
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